January 7, 2021

Teaching your little one the importance of Moral and Emotional Well being.

As parents and educators we want our children to excel on every platform be it in academics, sports, leadership, so that they can successfully launch into a bright future. While we focus on providing the skills for the above, we need to be aware that we also have to inculcate good moral standards and right behavior in order to help them achieve their goals. Investing time in focusing on the moral and emotional quotient of a child will reap great fruit in terms of productivity, mental balance and a deep rooted sense of self that helps them to cope effectively with all the obstacles that come their way thereby gifting them with a vision of limitless opportunities.

In our present day world, our children have to face many challenges such as multi cultural exposure, external factors such as peer pressure, social media, busy schedules of parents, free exposure to crime and pervert behavior through media. The list goes on.
Despite these challenges, not all is lost. With determination, patience and perseverance, we can help our child to understand the importance of morals and ethics.

There is famous quote by Mark Caine, “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself” This is exactly what we need to instill in our children to be masters of the situation and not slaves to it.

Children imitate what they see and observe. Give them a good imitation to follow and that puts you on top of the list. We are not perfect either and let them see that too. Allow your child seeing you making a mistake and apologizing, not quitting, rising up from failure, not winning and yet being happy, being grateful and cheerful. Life is not a bed of roses. There will be fights, loss, loneliness, emptiness, but the important thing is to remember that your child is not looking at the circumstances that come your way but is observing how you react to it.

As it is said, what you sow today, you will reap tomorrow. You sow an environment of aggression, unforgiveness, vengeance, foul language, inability to relate, and all you will reap is a carbon copy of that very environment. On the other hand, if the child is able to witness failure with grace, expressing different views and yet peaceful, respecting others with kindness especially the people who work for us like our house keepers, watchman, garbage cleaners, generosity with little, reaching out to the less privileged, sensitivity to others pain, gratitude, lots of love, hugs and quality time as a family, you have accomplished the impossible. Once you have done the toiling, just sit back and see the young sprout standing tall one day nourished in love and basking in the world of opportunities.

Some tips to develop the moral and emotional quotient of your child

  • LISTEN to your child. Do not let them feel that whatever they say is nonsensical or not important. They may never give you interesting information in fact it would be monotonous and boring, even so, LISTEN. Just imagine you are a whiteboard and they are jotting down everything they see, hear, touch, taste and feel. They need to do this in order to help them assimilate and clear their thoughts. By allowing them to talk and you being an attentive listener, they learn to make sense of things and get their bearings right.
  • BE NON JUDGEMENTAL - If you want your child to share with you their innermost thoughts then you must not give your opinion and try to use your authority to curb them. Be patient and open minded. They hate parents who keep saying” I told you so”
  • I DON’T LIKE WHAT YOU DID - Always separate the child from the mistake they have made when correcting them. They should never feel that they are bad and they are not worthy of being loved. When correcting you can always say “ You are such a beautiful child and I love you but right now I am not happy with what you did as you have made mama very sad’. Always make them aware of how it has hurt people around them rather than focusing on the act itself.
  • LOVE AND PRAISE - This is the icing on the cake. Find time to hug your child, keep them close to you, praise every little thing they do, don’t ever forget your promises, their birthdays, their soccer timings, their appointments. Be present at all times. May they see the real you.

From a learning Parent,
Pearl Raj